EASE ISN'T THE SAME AS EASY
. . . a gentle reminder that less can still be enough.
Ever have a message show up in your life and just refuse to let go?
For a while now, my mind (and heart and soul) keeps returning to one word: ease. Not “easy.” I’m not talking about floating through life on a pool noodle with a frozen daiquiri in one hand (though that does sound amazing). I’m talking about living an easeful life.
Somewhere along the way, as a culture, we started confusing “ease” with “easy”—as if craving peace means we’re avoiding challenge. But what if seeking ease is actually the bravest thing we can do?
What does that mean exactly? This excerpt from Chloe Liese’s newest book, Once Smitten, Twice Shy, describes it perfectly:
“Because I don’t want ever to go back to working the way I did. I want this quiet, cozy life I’ve built for myself over the past almost year. I want to crank out enough articles to pay the bills and then spend every other minute of my time reading what I want, trying to write, cooking for fun and planting flowers and being with the people I love.
I don’t want the grueling long days I used to pull, the constant pressure I put on myself to lock in more clients, the non-stop events and networking and schmoozing.
Sure, I’ll always love helping people when I can; I’ll always be an extrovert and love to throw parties, to bring new people together and enjoy seeing the connections they make.
But just because I can do it as my job doesn’t mean I should.”
These 144 words hit me square in the chest. The character, Juliet, described the quiet craving I’ve been having: a life with more breathing room and less badge-of-honor burnout.
Here’s the thing: I’ve never subscribed to hustle culture. I’ve always believed you can pay the bills without sprinting toward burnout like it’s an Olympic event. But there have been many times I’ve been reticent to share that belief out loud. In the entrepreneurial space, especially, saying “I want to do less” can be met with eye rolls, defensiveness, or a TED Talk about grit.
And frankly, even though I believe in ease, I still have to work to practice it every day.
So here’s what I’ve been doing lately to create a little more ease in my life—and maybe some of these will resonate with you too:
1. Asking for help more often
At home. At work. In life. If Dr. J takes on 80% of the home-front to-do list this week, I’m learning not to feel guilty or label myself “lazy.” I’m tired. That’s enough.
2. Letting go of arbitrary deadlines
Sure, some deadlines matter. But I’ve stopped assigning random pressure to things like “finish this newsletter draft tonight or ELSE.” Many tasks—especially personal ones—can wait without the world imploding.
3. Cutting costs to cut pressure
As of May 1, I’m moving back to my home office. I’ve loved having a separate workspace (or as I jokingly call it, “a separation of church and state”), but not paying rent gives me the freedom to write at a more sustainable pace.
4. Practicing gratitude instead of scarcity
I’ve stopped chasing the “I need to do more” monster. Now, I pause (or try to!) to celebrate every book sale, every page read. More joy, less grind.
5. Showing up consistently—without perfection
Not every writing day is a home run. Some days I just… show up and bunt. But consistency matters. Whether it’s your work, your family, or your community, sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is show up and trust it’s enough.
6. Naming what I’m good at—and what I’m not
Surprisingly, this one can be the toughest. But when I acknowledge both my gifts (sometimes the harder part) and my challenges, I free myself from a lot of unnecessary pressure. For example, I start trusting my skills—everything I’ve already learned along the way—and stop reaching for yet another program or book that’s ultimately just reteaching me what I already know. And, I give myself permission to connect in ways that actually suit me (because if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that I will never be the queen of cold networking—and that’s okay).
These are just a few ways I’m choosing ease. What about you?
Remember, it’s not easy we’re looking for. It’s ease—the kind that comes from choosing what matters, honoring your energy, and letting yourself off the hook once in a while.
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